snow covered mountain during daytime

UFO: Unaverage Flying Object (Chapter One)

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Chapter One – Brownie’s Perspective

It was an average morning. I was having lunch. Lunch, as humans like to call it, is grass, as usual. It was the same procedure.

Bite, chew, chew, swallow. It tasted a little stale, but it was all I had. Gerald, our group’s pride and joy in a bad way, just woke up. 

brown and white cow on green grass field during daytime

“Hey, Gerald,” I finally called.

Gerald, the crazy French-Italian cow, looked up at me, raging. “It’s Gerald,”

Well, no difference there.

Everyone laughed. The look on Gerald’s face was priceless.

More cows who were resting raised their heads up. Calling him by his regular name wasn’t enough for them. They wanted more.

“Whatever, mister weirdo,” I called again.

Gerald was fuming. He was in his own world, with his own way of saying things. 

“It’s pronounced Mister Weirdo,”

Now you have a sampler of Gerald. He’s the type who would get mad at a “Your Next” in a scary movie because of the poor grammar and not realize he was one step closer to his fate, being the clown in the barn. 

More laughter.

“Wow, Brownie. It’s only just six years, yet you are still the Barn’s most popular cow!” exclaimed my friend, Marconi Cheese. Thanks to Gerald, I have comedy material.  

While I and the other cows were ripping off the grass and greeting Gerald, horses were having races (Duh).

two brown and one black horse on green grass

“Bet you can’t get to that tree over there before I do!” shouted Buttercup. She was the leader of the. “Racer’s Rampage” or something? 

There was more ridiculous stuff going on. Like sheep making fun of each other’s baldness.

“Looks like you got the Barber’s Treatment!” a Lamb hollered.

There were also some goats and bulls here and there, but they are too crazy to describe. They literally bounced off walls.

There was also some “Mother” stuff that only moms could understand. Chickens show off how perfectly their chicks have hatched. Worst of all, those group of spoiled mother geese were gossiping about the unexpected.

I closely approached the fence that separated all the animals because, of course, it’d be an all-out BBII, also known as Barn Battle II, if there weren’t any fences. Crazy huh? When the master first bought us, he didn’t put up dividers. And believe me, you do not wanna hear the details of Barn Battle I or BBI.

I’m getting off-topic again. Luckily, I arrived early enough until the Geese arrived from their beauty nap.

“Hey, have you heard the news lately?” a goose asks.

My other friend, Rump, almost blew the whole thing.

“Yo, ‘sup, Brownie!” he shouted.

“SHHHHHHH!” I silently screamed. “Be quiet!”

Rumpy here gave me an odd look, but thanks to my totally awesome popularity, he obeyed my orders, ha!

Luckily, I didn’t miss too much of the goose gossip.

“Nope. Not yet, because Carol here keeps distracting me from looking at the newspaper, and when I do get the chance to do so, the Mistress in the house catches me and shoos me away!” said another goose.

“Watcha doing?” whispered Rump. “You’ve been standin’ there for a century!”

“Just getting some air. It’s fresher at this spot.” I quickly replied. “Also, I’ve stood here shorter than a century. Five minutes, I think,”

I felt ridiculous with a bunch of eyeballs on me all the time. (Well, only one pair of eyeballs). But Rump finally went away, and it was peace all over again. At least- for now.

Excuse me. I have my reasons,” retorted Carol, with a great amount of rage in her voice.

Carol is probably the most annoying one in the group. She has the voice of a megaphone! Oh yeah, she did swallow a part of a megaphone. I forgot. It’s too bad the humans didn’t notice or get it out before she got to the very peak of annoyance.

“Fine. If none of you fancy schmancy fashionistas won’t just say it already, I will,” said the youngest goose. “The doomsday clock Albert Einstein and the other smartypants humans built struck midnight,”

I couldn’t help but listen, and I regretted it right away.

There was an earthquake here a few years ago, but it was no match for the aftershock. Out of the blue, the ground started shaking.

It was a total nightmare. I nearly fell into a sinkhole that appeared out of nowhere. It was raining cats and dogs- literally, along with bright flashing lighting.

silhouette of mountain under cloudy sky during daytime

A cat landed on my snoot, and I got a scar on it from its massive claws. At least I looked cooler. Wait- where’d all these pets come from anyway? 

 I could’ve wondered that for all my life, but we didn’t even have time to. In a matter of seconds, California ripped out of the earth. Completely.

As we were flying up, I looked at the empty spot right where California used to be. It was as if there was a missing puzzle piece, and we were the piece!

After that, it fell dead silent. Everyone acted as if nothing had happened.

“Hey,” said a goose. “I didn’t hear you. What was the urgent news again?”

The young goose screamed. “That football team won again! And they used the same ‘method’: cheating.”

“Seriously? Some kind of team they are!” said the goose. “Carol, I’m glad you stalled me,”

Carol just grunted.

Was it a dream? If so, something must be wrong with my mind because that was one crazy nightmare. Sigh, unfortunately, no, because that scratch I got from the psycho cat is still there.

I peeked at the TV inside the house from the window, and there it was: a new “moon” is now orbiting the earth, with a new giant lake inside America, thanks to California’s somewhat nightmare-like ejection from the ground.

And guess what? Scientists are now working on a way to go from Earth to California.

I thought things would be normal after that, but no. What happened was even worse.

Hey, the first chapter! Hope you like it!

The introduction was kinda a prologue, and chapter one shows the events of how it happened. Also, yes. Each chapter has a different perspective from that of other animals.

– sublimeorange942

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