What’s up, KidzSearchers! 

Who’s ready to cringe? I sure am because today we’re going to be reviewing weird stock photos. In case you somehow don’t know what a stock photo is, I’ll fill you in. People sometimes need to use images for their projects, and instead of taking the photo yourself, it can be easier to license it for use in a movie, book, magazine, video, etc. While that’s totally fine, I’ve come across some weird photos that I don’t think anyone would license. 

Exhibit 1: Sweet dreams 

Apparently, this photo was taken as an obvious play-on-words of the phrase sweet dreams and the cake was a replacement for the pillow. While the idea was clever, it was executed terribly. Casing point? The man looks very disturbed. I don’t know why, but this whole scene just flows unnaturally and the guy looks high and depressed all at the same time. Maybe he recently came across a KidzNet sticker? 

Exhibit 2: Twisted

At first glance, this stock image might look normal, but upon closer inspection, you will see that the child’s… second half is twisted upside down. While that is certainly disturbing, I’m personally more concerned about his teeth. I’m not talking about the missing one, but the spacing between his two front teeth! This kid’s gonna grow up to become a beaver!

Exhibit 3: Big Bird

I don’t really know how to describe this in words, but I guess you could call it a really bad fever dream. A reddit user apparently found it after searching for a large bird on google images, and I have a lot of questions. At first sight it resembles a cheap rip-off of big bird, but then I noticed a terrified woman in the birdcage. I think she was more scared of being in a cringey stock photo than being kidnaped by rip-off big bird, but I don’t know for sure. I’m more confused on how this would fit any situation in a book, movie, or youtube video. I wonder how many people bought the photo unironically.

Exhibit 4: Hatchling

What is up with stock photos and birds? First, a human replaced a bird in the cage, and now a guy is hatching from an egg. It would make more sense if the hatchling was a child, but this guy looks like he’s 50 years old. Maybe it resembles a symbol for renewal for a new life, but any deep meaning is drowned out by the expression on the subject’s face. He looks terrified, and I’m terrified for him. This man’s legacy will be that one guy from a weird stock photo. How sad.

Exhibit #5: I HAVE A GUN

PUT THE GOLDFISH DOWN, LADY. I REPEAT, PUT THE GOLDFISH DOWN! This stock photo depicts a woman holding a goldfish at gunpoint for some reason. Her face shows an expression of a supervillain with a menacing grin and a killer smile. The goldfish doesn’t seem to care that much, though. Its eyes are soulless, even for a fish and I just see disappointment in its expression. That reflected perfectly in the stock photo because it was also a disappointment. 

Okay, that wraps up weird stock photos for now. After seeing these, I can’t help but wonder why someone sat down for a meeting and pitched ideas like a man hatching from an egg or a woman holding a fish at gunpoint. More importantly, I don’t know why anyone would buy these for their projects. If you like this post, please rate it and I’ll make a part two. Cya later.

Attribution: These images are available for purchase on Shutterstock, Getty Images, and iStock