Whenever I tell someone that my pronouns are they/them, I never know what to predict. Sometimes they’ll start to ask a whole bunch of questions that I don’t really feel like responding to.
It’s usually well-intentioned, and I get that people are just trying to understand. But I do get tired of clarifying the same things about my pronouns. So I’ve rounded up some replies to the most typical questions about my pronouns.
You look like a boy/girl. Why use them rather than he/she?
I look like me. If someone looks at me and assumes I am one thing or another based on what I’m wearing or whether I’m wearing makeup, that decision is on them.
You’re only one individual! How does that work?
It’s simple, honestly. In English, we already use the singular “they” all the time when the gender of someone is unspecified. Say you see 20 dollars on the ground and pick it up. You might say: “Oh, someone left their cash here. I’ll set it aside for them. I hope they aren’t worried!”
Someone else that I know uses they/them, which means they’re nonbinary right?
No, not necessarily. Nonbinary people can use binary pronouns. And people who don’t identify as nonbinary can use they/them too. While it’s accurate that numerous nonbinary people do use they/them, there’s no single they/them gender identity out there.
Comment below with your thoughts.