Is it normal for a kid to have so much stress?

I was crying, my dad had gotten into a fight with my grandma. She had lets us stay at her house while the RV was getting repaired. I went to sleep, and when I woke up I hoped it was a dream. But it wasn't. My grandpa has this, sad look on him. It broke my heart. How could he have been mad at his own mother.....he said we were not going to see them in a while....He pushed away his wife, daughter, sister, and now his own mother? Why? I never get to see my aunt and now its my Grandma and Grandpa? I hate seeing someone I love sad. It breaks me. Because he doesn't get enough attention? Because he's not the "favorite" child? What was it?...he never tells us anything...He made us pack up all our stuff. He said "we're checking out of this "hotel"". What? This is not a hotel. This is a place where we had great memories, not a hotel...And he doesn't care bout me or my mother's opinion, like he said, he's the boss around here....

My own parents make feel like crap.... and they don't even realize it....

I wanted to talk about it...
Dang...
I wanted to Scream
I wanted to Yell
I wanted to
Shout it out.
But all i could was
Whisper
"I'm fine..."

Sad thing about being strong is that no one asks if you're okay.....

Dear self,

Everyday the feeling of being hopeless gets worse. Two years? Your really think someone's going to help you out of this? They don't care anymore, your close to forgotten. Your cry everyday but nobody notices. Those battle scars on your body? Their from a war your still fighting everyday. You blame others for your actions, because you've been fighting this war alone too long. You've tried to give up. Multiple times and no one notices it. You wake the next day with tears falling down. When you look to others you look fine, like everything's going to be alright. But you can't anymore. It's too hard. You just want to give up. Why won't you just give up? You look in the mirror everyday, wiping tears away to make sure others don't see your pain. You can't tell others your dying everyday. It's too hard...they don't realize it. It's too hard to admit your dying inside because once you do, it's real. I just want to know my worth. Nothing more.


To daddy....

Dear daddy, I know you do everything for me, you're my hero. You say I'm the best thing that has happened to you. But daddy, if that true how could you say such hurtful words? Such mean comments? You say your sick of me, but I hold back the tears knowing you'd be mad at me. You say I'm stupid, but everything I learn is from you. You think I go home and eat. You call me out about my weight, I already know what you're going to say... "Do you REALLY need that? Its not like your STARVING!" Daddy that hurts me. Me and Mama are hurt. You don't just effect me, you also effect Mama. You throw such hurtful and mean words at me, I cant handle it Daddy! You say you're "over reacting" or "You're dramatic". But Daddy, I'm not. I mean what I say, and its effected me so very much. I think I'm not enough for you...or I'm useless. Daddy you say I'm your world, the best thing that happen to you. I love you daddy, but I cant see the love in you. You don't care about what a say. You say that I cant learn from my mistakes. You say I'm an idiot. You judge me. You don't except me for who I am. I fee that I dong belong in this war. You make me eat healthy, workout, but why do you not make Tyler do it? Its not fair. I ask you a question, you act as if I am not there...Daddy I want you to accept me for who I am. I don't want to be someone else. I love my body. You expect to much of me. You expect I always will get A grades. Daddy I love you. You say you do, but I cant see it. I want you to accept me for who I am, that all I ask for....

Group About
Members (3)